Never Coming Home
by Chibi Neko-Chan2
Summary: Dark SK Songfic. Sucidial Fic. Not everyone gets their happily ever after that they always wanted and with all hope gone, Kairi doesn't only realize her happily ever after won't happen but also that her own depression would lead to her own death.


Yay! Im done with that huge project! GO ME! WHOO!

A/N: Unfortunately, we don't always get our happily ever afters. Our dreams don't always come true. Sora and Kairi are going to realize that in this fic. This will contain mild language, self destruction, deep depression, hints on anger management, and death. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. And with what I'm about to write, you'll be thankful for that..

Never Coming Home

By: Chibi Neko-Chan2

Beta Reader: Jbhyperandweird

"Talking"

Thoughts

**emphasis**

_Lyrics_

XXXXX- Scene Change

She was sitting in the secret spot. The dark, cold secret spot where moss grew from the hedges of the rock. Kairi ran her thin fingers down her arms, trying to regain heat. She could of sworn that the secret spot use to feel warm and comforting five years ago. But no, now all it was, was a frigid jail cell with kept memories inside.

No matter how cold the secret spot got, Kairi never moved once from the spot she chosen to sit on earlier this morning. She had been in the secret spot for a long time, probably longer then she assumed. Her cerulean eyes flickered to the entrance of the small cove and didn't see the bright light that was once there when she entered the cave. She saw what she was feeling. Nothing.

_I never said I'd lie and wait forever  
If I died, we'd be together  
I can't always just forget her  
But she could try_

She glanced back towards the picture that made her eyes burn. The picture that made her heart crumble into pieces. The picture of **him and her. **In the picture, they were both giving each other a star shaped fruit paupo fruit. The fruit was told to intertwine two destinies together as one if the fruit was shared. It was suppose to give her happiness, give her faith, and give her **hope**. But Kairi came to a realization that night.

How was a fairytale, a story that was made up and nonexistent, supposed to give her hope? Hope and faith were already gone from Kairi. And happiness? That was also a fairytale in Kairi's book.

Kairi brushed a long crimson lock out of her view as her pale hand clutched a jagged rock that was in front of the drawing.

"It's time to say goodbye..." Kairi whispered darkly to herself as she took the jagged rock and slid it across the picture. A long scratch cut the middle of Sora's Face and Kairi's neck. Soon, many more scratches were added to the picture. Then, it was scratched up so much that the picture was nothing more then a childish scribble. Kairi let out a heavy breath and glared at the picture before her as she got up. All the picture did was give her hopes a heavier crash to the bottom.

_At the end of the world  
Or the last thing I see  
You are  
Never coming home  
Never coming home  
Could I? Should I?  
And all the things that you never ever told me  
And all the smiles that are ever ever...  
Ever..._

Kairi inhaled crisp fresh air as she crawled out of the secret spot. It would of been pitch black outside if the stars weren't there to illuminate the midnight sky. The golden sand glided through the air as Kairi ambled over to her wooden boat. Kairi cursed out loud when memories of her and Sora sitting at the dock started to swarm in her mind like a busy beehive. After untying the rope, Kairi jumped into her boat and started to row out.

He had lied to her and she felt stupid for believing him. I mean, it had been five years now. Did he really think that she would believe that fighting off heartless and such would take five years to complete? The only reason she had faith in Sora was because she loved him. Even at such a young age, she knew she did. Heh, and she thought he loved her. Kairi let out a heartbreaking laugh. She couldn't believe how gullible and naive she had been.

A small flash from her hand caught Kairi's attention. Kairi looked down and bit her lip in frustration when she saw the silver promise ring on her finger. In the past, Kairi used it for the same reason she used the picture in the secret spot. To gain hope, to have faith, and to remember his promise. The ring came in handy to her when she wasn't able to go see the drawing since she had the ring was on her finger 24/7.

I need to let everything about Sora go... Kairi thought as she slipped the ring off her finger. She didn't even bother giving the ring one last look before she cast it into the ocean. The chance of her seeing that again was as good as the chance of her seeing Sora again. Impossible.

Finally reaching the other island where she lived, Kairi felt a new frustrating feeling develop in her. She felt like she was a monster. A green eyed monster that wanted to destroy everything in sight because everyone was having a better life then her. She was jealous, she was angry, and she was heartbroken. And these dark thoughts only led to much darker ones. Why couldn't she be engaged like Selphie? Why couldn't she be happy like Wakka? Why couldn't she keep all her feelings hidden so well inside like Riku? Why couldn't she be with Sora?

Flinging her front door open, Kairi's eyes glanced around her house. She could hear the weather man's voice come from the tv that she forgot to turn off this morning. Kicking the door closed behind her, she walked over to the television and stared at it with her arms crossed.

"And the chance of getting rain tomorrow is very likely..."

Sora and I used to play in the rain together...

"It'll be very heavy, so make sure you have your umbrellas..."

Sora used to share his umbrella with me...

Kairi shook her head sadly and stared at the television with a serious look, "Shut up..."

"So it would be a good idea to just stay home, maybe share a nice warm cup of hot chocolate with your lover..."

"I said shut up!"

"And poor Kairi, she's all alone. She thought Sora loved her," the weatherman laughed evilly, "but it was all just lies. Sora fooled Kairi. Little poor naive gullible Kairi fell into Sora's trap!"

Kairi let out a sad cry as she placed her hands on top of her ears, "I SAID BE QUIET!"

"Poor Kairi. She's a wreck. She can't even hold her life together without crumbling apart. How pathetic-"

The weather man's voice was cut short when Kairi's baseball bat broke into the tv screen. Angry tears were starting to gloss Kairi's eyes, but she tried her best not to let them fall. She wouldn't cry for him, at least, she would try not to. Kairi's trembling hand dropped the baseball bat as she made her way to her bedroom. When she was passing the kitchen, Kairi's eyes landed on the white refrigerator. The refrigerator was filled with nothing but pictures of Kairi's past. Kairi felt more anger pump into her veins and swore she felt her heart break even more when her eyes scanned the pictures. If that was possible.

One by one, each picture was ripped into halves, and then into fourths, and then into such little pieces that it would take a magician to put all the pictures back together. Never ending tears swam down her cheeks like rivers and Kairi couldn't believe what a wreck this whole experience made her. How he made her. Kairi turned sharply on her heel and faced her cabinets. All the times Sora came over to eat, all the times they baked together, and all the kisses they shared, happened in this very kitchen. Kairi let out an aggravated scream and opened her cabinets. Plates were thrown to the ground, glasses were shattered into tiny parts, and her messy kitchen table was flipped over. A satisfied sigh came to Kairi when she made her way out of the kitchen and into the worst part of her house. Her bedroom.

_Get the feeling that you're never  
All alone and I remember now  
At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies  
She dies_

She didn't even have to destroy her bedroom since it was basically already that way. Covers thrown all over the place from horrible dreams, clothes seen everywhere since Kairi was insatiable of finding a proper outfit, and old photo albums and pictures were piled high in her un-emptied trash can.

Kairi stopped in front of her dresser mirror and stared at herself. She looked horrible. Her long crimson hair seemed to lose its shine from her unhealthy eating habits, her eyes were puffy, her face was red, tear lines ran down her cheeks, and she was skinny in a sickening way.

Kairi twirled a piece of crimson hair around her finger and a lost expression came in the reflection of the mirror. She grew her hair out for him. Her once- chin length hair now ended at the small of her back. Kairi closed her eyes as her right hand made it ways towards the black scissors on her desk.

Her hair reminded her of him. So she took the scissors in her hands and cut the blades across her crimson hair. Her chopped hair now cascaded down to her shoulders. She kicked her once crimson locks under her desk. She would get rid of those locks, just like how she would get rid of her feelings.

But once she looked back into the mirror, she knew nothing changed. All that destroying things and herself didn't help at all. She could still feel him, she still had those feelings that were impossible to throw away. But why was that?

_At the end of the world  
Or the last thing I see  
You areNever coming home  
Never coming home  
Could I? should I?  
And all the things that you never ever told me  
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me  
Never coming home  
Never coming home  
Could I? Should I?  
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me  
For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me_

Their hearts were connected! That's why she just couldn't get rid of those feelings, right? Kairi bit her lip in thought as she started to pace around the room. But if she wanted to get rid of her feelings for Sora, how could she un-connect their hearts? Kairi sat on her lilac mattress and scrunched her face up in concentration. How could she just get rid of the pain and the heartache? In order for her to un-connect her heart with sora, she would have to separate it. And the only way she could think about separating it was...

_If I fall  
If I fall (down)_  
**Suicide. **The word breathed on her neck and filled her aura almost instantly. A blank look came to Kairi's eye. **Suicide**. There wasn't any one here for her anyway. What can be more depressing then this place anyway? She would probably be doing herself a favor if she killed herself. It would only take, Kairi's eyes flicked over to her bathroom, a slit of the wrist.

But wasn't she being selfish? What about the people that **actually **cared about her? Her remaining family, some of her friends. But in the beginning, weren't they just telling her to get over Sora? Weren't they trying to demolish the hope that they thought was lost? So, why couldn't she just do them a favor and really give them what they wanted. The only way she could get over Sora was to terminate her feelings. And the only way she could terminate her feelings was to terminate herself.

Kairi got up and silently walked over to her bathroom. Closing the door behind her once she stepped inside, Kairi twisted the knob of the tub and plugged in the drain before she started to shred her clothing off. As she stripped off her dirty white skirt, her eyes landed on the object that would finish her off. The razorblade was calling for her and this fact only made her take her clothes off faster.

Kairi settled herself in the warm bath water and **tried** to relax as she grabbed the silver object. She turned her other wrist and shivered when she felt the cold blades of the razor touch her delicate skin. She closed her cerulean eye tightly, warm salty tears seeping from her eyelids as she ran the razor blade across her wrist. When she opened her eyes, she could only see a faint red line scared on her skin. She didn't force it down enough.

Remember how he lied to you.

She ran the razor across her skin again, a darker redder line covering the once fading one now.

Remember how he broke that promise? How much faith you had in him?

Another slash at the same spot.

Remember how happy you were?

Her skin finally cut open. Blood ran down her arm and fell into the transparent water.

What a fool you are...

The razor cut deeper and deeper into her skin. Blood was spilling faster and faster.

And still becoming 

A sharp breath escaped from Kairi's lips. The razor dropped from her hand almost instantly. Closing her eyes, Kairi's back started to slide lower and lower into the water as her last breaths became shallower and shallower.

Outside, the landing of a ship could be heard. Big yellow shoes made contact with the sand as the gummi ship's door closed. Sora stretched his arms behind his back as his cobalt eyes scanned the island. Nothing really physically changed since he last seen the island, but there was this feeling deep inside him, that the island's aura had changed.

I should go see Kairi. I mean, I did promise her. A light chuckle escaped his lips and he took off in a run to Kairi's house. What would she look like? Would she remember him? Would she cry when she saw him?

_At the end of the world  
Or the last thing I see  
You are  
Never coming home  
Never coming home  
Never coming home  
Never coming home  
And all the things that you never ever told me  
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me  
Never coming home  
Never coming home  
Could I? Should I?  
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me  
For all the ghosts that are never gonna..._

A big grin crossed Sora's face as he opened the door to Kairi's house, "Kai...?"

The foamy waves washed upon the shore as Sora stepped inside. As the waves rolled back, the moonlight caught onto something bright. On top of the brown moist sand was a small silver ring.

XXXXX

The end! AHHH! I KNOW YOU GUYS MUST HATE ME NOW! But I really wanted to write a dark songfic for some time now! I thought this was the perfect opportunity! I should have UP done by next weekend and up soon! Im Sorry but I did warn you! Please R+R.


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